.... so the other night I'm watching the news, wanting to know what the weather was going to be like for the following weekend. I got to the weather report....and waited...and waited...and when it was over I realized something.
I'd completely missed what the weather was going to be. Oh, I could have rattled off the names of the clouds, the % points of humidity, the PSI of the high pressure system that was coming....but f*#* if I could tell you if the combination of them all would mean wearing a bikini or a snowsuit.
Who decided that we needed to know all that extraneous bullshit during the weather report? Is the rain from a Siberian High Front wetter than the rain from a Nigerian Low? No!?! THEN WHY THE HELL DO WE HAVE TO HEAR ABOUT IT THEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All we need out of a weather report is this:
Tomorrow, coat
Day after, no coat
Day after that, umbrella
Day after that we could guess people, but we'd probably be wrong.
I've yet to run into a friend during a snowstorm, who was wearing a tank top, shorts and flip flops, who said "yeah, the weatherman said to wear a parka, but they didn't back it up with enough graphs and satellite pictures, so I decided to take my chances".
And a whole CHANNEL of weather? What's up with that? If it's sleeting in the Himalayas do I need to wear long underwear too? I didn't think so. All THEY need is a screen that says:
"Today, Edmontonians should wear ____________, if you're travelling somewhere, phone ahead.
So's I say, SCREW the meteorologists, and bring back the old-fashioned, whiteboard-marker weathermen of old, who let you know what you should do about the weather, which is all anybody really needs to know.
I'd completely missed what the weather was going to be. Oh, I could have rattled off the names of the clouds, the % points of humidity, the PSI of the high pressure system that was coming....but f*#* if I could tell you if the combination of them all would mean wearing a bikini or a snowsuit.
Who decided that we needed to know all that extraneous bullshit during the weather report? Is the rain from a Siberian High Front wetter than the rain from a Nigerian Low? No!?! THEN WHY THE HELL DO WE HAVE TO HEAR ABOUT IT THEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All we need out of a weather report is this:
Tomorrow, coat
Day after, no coat
Day after that, umbrella
Day after that we could guess people, but we'd probably be wrong.
I've yet to run into a friend during a snowstorm, who was wearing a tank top, shorts and flip flops, who said "yeah, the weatherman said to wear a parka, but they didn't back it up with enough graphs and satellite pictures, so I decided to take my chances".
And a whole CHANNEL of weather? What's up with that? If it's sleeting in the Himalayas do I need to wear long underwear too? I didn't think so. All THEY need is a screen that says:
"Today, Edmontonians should wear ____________, if you're travelling somewhere, phone ahead.
So's I say, SCREW the meteorologists, and bring back the old-fashioned, whiteboard-marker weathermen of old, who let you know what you should do about the weather, which is all anybody really needs to know.
4 comments:
Hey Sue....Let's wear our bikinis on Thursday...just think of all the high pressure we're going to create. *snickers*
http://www.theweathernetwork.com/features/schoolday/pages/CAAB0103.htm
Bikinis are not an option today
Love
Badger
PS I think wearing a bikini in Edmonton in December might cause a cold front.
And I don't think your rear would fare well either!!!
Love
Badger
If a forecast of clothes were to be issued in Victoria, I'd never trust it.
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