My newsest career

I'm going to become a Rumpologist
That's right a Rumplogist. Someone who reads the lines, bumps and crevices on your ass to reveal your personality, fate, and future.
C'mon it can't lose! People love to hear about themselves. If people can stare into blobs of glass and charge people for their subsequent hallucinations..they'll pay to drop their drawers and hear their fate.

I can hear the consultations now..."hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.... I see a trip to the Grand Canyon in your near future"

" I sense you are a very busy person, always in a rush...not much time for meals......oh yes and your favourite vegetable is corn"

I mean, if Rocky's Mom is a believe in this stuff, it has to be right...... right??!?!?!

I just read she charges $125 to read a scanned picture of your bum. I'd do it LIVE in PERSON, so you could ask for clarification on any point that you may not understand. And I'd do this for the low LOW price of $49.99. What a deal.

Gift certficates available for your Holiday Gift Giving needs!

How difficult is it?

How, in a world where men have walked on the moon (or did they?)

where we can build tiny computers that fit into water droplets and are powered by DNA can scientist not come up with a restaurant tables that DON'T WOBBLE? Are the restaurant floors in this world that crooked? I was at a NEW restaurant just the other day and it rocked about an inch back and forth.

I friggin HATE sitting at tables where you have to anchor them down with your elbow, or have to crawl on the floor propping them up with sugar packages. Why isn't this a regular part of 'setting' the restaurant for the day? Walking around and fixing the bloody wobbles! WHEN WILL THEY LEARN???

Halloween Sour Apples

There is something seriously wrong when the Trick or Treaters at your door are taller than you are. Especially if they're on the step 8 inches lower than you.

I know, I know, it doesn't take much to be taller than me, but C'MON, there should be a maximum height restriction.

Some of them don't even come in costume, as my niece puts it "this candy' ain't free, ya gotta work for it"

bastards.